No! Never! I would never go back on my word like that.
[ While he is telling the truth, he unfortunately still has the air of someone caught doing something they aren't supposed to. Because it's not like he hasn't thought about it... ]
[ Well, now this feels kind of like a little game, some enrichment for the both of them. So he doesn't help in the effort at all, not quite deadweighting on Haruaki but not putting his legs into action and standing the hell up. ]
Lifting me? I wouldn't imagine so, I weight the same as before. Though, hm...
[ Okay, maybe a little deadweighting as his train of thought takes a detour. ]
Would putting my eyes elsewhere in here count as being up and out of bed?
Haruaki really was only thinking about having oni strength to contend with.
He stupidly forgot about The Eyes.
Akira can be dead weight for a moment. He ceases his tugging, lets Akira slump back down into the chair fully and leans over him, far enough to peer at him upside down. ]
Do you have to be awake to use your eyes, or can they look at something out here while you're asleep in there?
[ Well, if Akira's not making any effort to wriggle away, Haruaki won't let go either. They can shuffle awkwardly like this, Haruaki's hands still clamped beneath his arms as he steers him toward– ]
Ah, your bed or mine?
[ They've been doing this every single night, trading off every so often. Haruaki has no real preference. It's whatever Akira wants.
[ It's just that many more steps, presumably with Haruaki still holding on to him.
No matter which way the nights go, whether he's feeling defiant or compliant, he still somehow manages to feed his desires drop by drop. It's not enough. It will never be enough.
[ That's all the encouragement Haruaki needs to direct them through the door into his own room, Hana at their heels.
By this point, he goes out already in his jammies with Hatanaka's jacket thrown over them to pick up Principal, that way he can just shrug it off and fall right into bed. Which he does, flopping like a fish on land and holding an arm out as if inviting Akira to flop with him. ]
At this point, it's going to be weird to sleep alone again when we get back home!
[ It took some convincing from Haruaki to get Akira to put his jammies on at a certain time so he'd stop falling asleep in his slacks, but at least that's a schedule he's kept up with. Pajamas are nice after all, soft and breathable, makes thinking easier.
And makes it easier to flop into bed right alongside Haruaki, arms acting on their new habit of going ahead and wrapping around the other man as they no doubt would anyway in the middle of the night. ]
Mm, you're right...you know you're always welcome in my home, and now that will have to include being welcome to spend the night cuddling.
[ It's true, but he can't help a giggle as he says it. It feels so silly! ]
[ Just like that, they're wrapped up in one another. Akira holds onto him like a child might hold onto a stuffed animal, clutching him tight and close; one of Haruaki's arms is always trapped in that embrace, and the other drapes loosely over Akira's back in kind, hand running idly up and down his spine.
They talk like this until they fall asleep, practically nose to nose. It's– strange. Haruaki can't pretend it isn't. He's never had someone so close to him in all his life, and he certainly never expected it to be Akira, but...
Each night, it feels more natural. Safer, more secure. More right.
He nestles down against the pillows, eyes on Akira's through the dim light as Hana makes herself comfortable down at the foot of the bed. ]
Really? Even when we aren't roommates anymore? You're too nice, Akira-kun...
[ He can't imagine sleeping alone in his faculty dorm again, but he also can't imagine traipsing all the way to Akira's house next to the orphanage every night. What they have right now really is the best of both worlds, isn't it? ]
Ah, wait! That didn't count as my question for the night!
[ With another giggle, ] It doesn't count because the answer's obvious. Of course!
[ He won't admit it if not pressed, but he's having a hard time imagining falling asleep any other way too. It's so much easier like this, Haruaki's soft breath and steadying pulse a tactile lullaby more effective than any over the counter sleep aid. He may very well go right back to his old habits with it gone...
But it's never productive to fall asleep melancholy if one can help it. So he laces his fingers behind Haruaki's back, a show that he's locked in and staying right where he is. ]
[ It is his turn, and Haruaki goes quiet as he thinks it over.
He's never been terribly skilled at letting silence fall easily, unused to having people around who don't make him feel the need to fill space with chatter. But he was learning with Miki and Hatanaka, and he's still learning now, every time he and Akira merely exist around one another without pattering on and on. It helps him feel more comfortable like this, ensconced in the quiet of his darkened bedroom, nothing more than the sound of their breathing filling the room as he sifts through question after question.
Finally, after some time: ]
If you could see a vision of your future, or maybe even just know something about what's coming for you... would you want to?
[ Weird things happen all the time here, and wishes don't come free, no matter how frivolously he uses his own. He does keep wondering if they'll be offered something like that next. Visions of those big, abstract wishes that brought them here fulfilled, maybe. Or just little details that might make them want to stay here instead of going back home. His gears are always turning. ]
Or would you rather not know what will happen to you and be surprised?
[ Akira on the other hand has a much easier time letting calm, comfortable silence fall between the two of them. His own mind is never silent after all, noting every little detail he can see, hear--and in this case feel, with the lazy hold effortlessly adding itself into their nightly routine. Even now he's still filing everything away for thinking over, now or later, which tiny mannerism is the most interesting about Haruaki as he thinks this over?
Then there's the question, which shuts those mental files for now. Asking him of all people about a vision from the future? He can't help but chuckle. ]
Whether it's the smart decision or not, I'd always want to know.
[ He would gaze into the eyes of any forbidden abyss with no hesitation if given the chance. There's a good chance it'll drive him mad one day. (If it hasn't already, judging by some of the more colorful nicknames he's gotten.) ]
Depending on the severity of the outcome, it could be used as a test for if fate really is inevitable. Although, mm...
[ A thoughtful furrow of his brows, ] Aren't there quite a few stories about figures trying to avoid a prophecy they only end up fulfilling? How accurate are those, do you think?
[ No matter how obvious the answer seems, Haruaki listens with rapt attention as if it were a completely new discovery. It is, in its own way, every single time. He doesn't presume to understand absolutely everything about Akira, so hearing the truth straight from his mouth is always preferable to his own assumptions.
Besides, the way he phrases things is so... endearing. Of course he'd want to use it to test fate. What a dork...
Haruaki hums and nods, fingers tracing an idle pattern along Akira's shoulder blade. ]
Yep, that's a pretty common trope! What's the saying? You meet your fate on the road you took to avoid it? Something like that.
[ As for how accurate that is to real life, though... who knows, really? That kind of thing would seem too convenient to be true, if someone asked him a year ago, but now that he knows his ancestor has seen how his whole life will unfold... well, Haruaki's not exactly the best judge of whether fate can be defied or not. ]
Maybe... it's not really about fate being inevitable, but about learning to accept what happens to you instead of trying to fight against it. You learn more lessons that way, right?
[ It's not like he has all that much tension running through him at this moment, but with those patterns from Haruaki's hands there's even less. Just another point towards not being able to imagine getting to sleep any other way than the surefire method of being handled so gently... ]
I never thought about it like that, but you raise a good point. There's something to be said about being adaptable.
[ His next move comes without much thought. His tone is teasing, but the look on his face oh so very fond, softly bumping their foreheads as if to emphasize his point. ]
You'd know that best out of us, wouldn't you? Life is always throwing such strange things at you!
[ As much as he'd to soak up some praise, Haruaki's self-image is too honest. ]
I try, but I'm not always great at it either! For a long time I cried and wanted to run away every morning when class began!
[ He's certainly become more resilient and adaptable since then, but there's a reason his first reaction to strange new things is usually to flee like a coward. ]
[ Well, that's true too. Haruaki was quite flighty when they first met again, and while he's made progress there's still pieces of that left in him. There's another saying...a tiger can't change its stripes? There will always be a frightened little tiger cub in there somewhere, or something along those lines.
Akira doesn't mind. It's cute. ]
Maybe we could all use that lesson.
[ He could, he'll admit that, even if it probably won't sink in any time soon. He can adapt in a moment, but it's usually to serve a single stubborn purpose. Haruaki is still more flexible than him in that regard.
Once again, though, he wasn't always like that. It takes significance for something to sink in, be it hours upon hours of study or one fateful event.
Clearly lost in thought for a few moments, his eyes softly slide back into the present once more with his forehead deciding to continue resting against the other's. ]
What would you say is the hardest lesson you've had to learn?
[ They've become so comfortable with one another, spend so much time in close quarters like this, that at first the gentle pressure of Akira's forehead against his doesn't register. It's not as if he hasn't bumped his own against Hatanaka's or Miki's in moments of pure happiness, nuzzling like an excited puppy – but Akira only rests there, even as their conversation continues, and that prickles some strange heat up the back of Haruaki's neck.
Akira really is the only person with whom he's ever done anything like this. What does that mean, at the end of the day...?
He fidgets with the fabric of Akira's sleep shirt, but he doesn't pull away. Novel and strange as it is, he kind of likes it, cuddling up this close. ]
The hardest? Ooh, that's tricky...
[ There were some difficult subjects he struggled with in university, and his mother has given him some lectures that weren't so easy to hear, and of course the lesson that he won't be able to save every sailor uniform from wear and tear was a hard pill to swallow, but...
Haruaki hums to himself, thoughtful, hand flattening out against Akira's spine once more. It travels up, up, up, until it rests against Akira's nape. ]
You really put me on the spot! Can I think about it for a minute?
[ Both of them could be forgiven for drifting off to sleep, for how long it takes Haruaki to come up with an answer.
It's not a lesson that was taught to him by one singular person. It feels like a lesson that slowly built up throughout his life, then exploded onto the scene when he came to Hyakki Academy. It's simple, too. It shouldn't keep hitting him in the face, and yet–
It's happening again in this strange world, too.
Haruaki's voice comes whisper-quiet through the darkened bedroom. ]
No one is alone. Even when it feels like you are, maybe even for years... there are people out there who care about you, and who would be sad if you got hurt, and if you're patient, you'll keep finding more of them.
[ Be reckless in a way that won't worry anyone dovetails nicely into it. It would be so easy for Haruaki to just be reckless if he still was as intensely lonely as he was growing up, or living as a futon ghost at the shrine with his family.
But Principal already knew him. Akira and Yamazaki and Ibara already knew him. Miki and Hatanaka already knew him...
It feels silly now that he was ever so lonesome. He had people waiting for him to reappear in their lives, even if they didn't know it at the time either. ]
It doesn't sound like it would be a hard lesson to learn, huh? It's definitely a nice one! But I guess if you're so used to thinking or feeling a certain way, something like that can take a while to sink in.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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Tug.
Tug tug tug.
He's not going to stop tugging! Up you go! ]
All of you are so bad at taking care of yourselves, I have to! Although, to be honest, I think some nights Principal sneaks back out to the bar...
[ ... s q u i n t. ]
You don't sneak back out here, do you?
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Up.
A little more.
With every tug. ]
No! Never! I would never go back on my word like that.
[ While he is telling the truth, he unfortunately still has the air of someone caught doing something they aren't supposed to. Because it's not like he hasn't thought about it... ]
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[ Haruaki would be so disappointed. Imagine his disappointed face, Akira.
Anyway, his hands are going underneath Akira's arms now, doing his level best to fully haul him up from the chair. ]
This is going to be even harder once you get your powers back, huh...
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Lifting me? I wouldn't imagine so, I weight the same as before. Though, hm...
[ Okay, maybe a little deadweighting as his train of thought takes a detour. ]
Would putting my eyes elsewhere in here count as being up and out of bed?
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Haruaki really was only thinking about having oni strength to contend with.
He stupidly forgot about The Eyes.
Akira can be dead weight for a moment. He ceases his tugging, lets Akira slump back down into the chair fully and leans over him, far enough to peer at him upside down. ]
Do you have to be awake to use your eyes, or can they look at something out here while you're asleep in there?
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You mean sleepwatching? No, no one's ever caught me doing that to my knowledge.
[ Raising up a hand, he adds in a stage whisper, ] Kurai used to when he was younger, though.
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[ That's... so spooky. ]
Did you see it happen??
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He grew out of it pretty quickly, but it was still so cuuute~
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That's... good to know... ah, I guess as long as you can still get some rest, it would be fine if you did that...
[ Why does it feel like he's conceding ground on a losing battle?
Haruaki redoubles his efforts, hoisting Akira up underneath his armpits. ]
Come onnnnnnn~
[ HE IS NOT ABOVE WHINING. ]
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Up he goes, not removing himself from Haruaki's grasp as he finally stands. ]
Alright, alright, I'd need to actually be resting to do that, right?
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Ah, your bed or mine?
[ They've been doing this every single night, trading off every so often. Haruaki has no real preference. It's whatever Akira wants.
It's funny, how quickly things become normal. ]
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[ It's just that many more steps, presumably with Haruaki still holding on to him.
No matter which way the nights go, whether he's feeling defiant or compliant, he still somehow manages to feed his desires drop by drop. It's not enough. It will never be enough.
And yet it has to be. ]
I think Hana might like your room better.
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[ That's all the encouragement Haruaki needs to direct them through the door into his own room, Hana at their heels.
By this point, he goes out already in his jammies with Hatanaka's jacket thrown over them to pick up Principal, that way he can just shrug it off and fall right into bed. Which he does, flopping like a fish on land and holding an arm out as if inviting Akira to flop with him. ]
At this point, it's going to be weird to sleep alone again when we get back home!
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And makes it easier to flop into bed right alongside Haruaki, arms acting on their new habit of going ahead and wrapping around the other man as they no doubt would anyway in the middle of the night. ]
Mm, you're right...you know you're always welcome in my home, and now that will have to include being welcome to spend the night cuddling.
[ It's true, but he can't help a giggle as he says it. It feels so silly! ]
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They talk like this until they fall asleep, practically nose to nose. It's– strange. Haruaki can't pretend it isn't. He's never had someone so close to him in all his life, and he certainly never expected it to be Akira, but...
Each night, it feels more natural. Safer, more secure. More right.
He nestles down against the pillows, eyes on Akira's through the dim light as Hana makes herself comfortable down at the foot of the bed. ]
Really? Even when we aren't roommates anymore? You're too nice, Akira-kun...
[ He can't imagine sleeping alone in his faculty dorm again, but he also can't imagine traipsing all the way to Akira's house next to the orphanage every night. What they have right now really is the best of both worlds, isn't it? ]
Ah, wait! That didn't count as my question for the night!
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[ He won't admit it if not pressed, but he's having a hard time imagining falling asleep any other way too. It's so much easier like this, Haruaki's soft breath and steadying pulse a tactile lullaby more effective than any over the counter sleep aid. He may very well go right back to his old habits with it gone...
But it's never productive to fall asleep melancholy if one can help it. So he laces his fingers behind Haruaki's back, a show that he's locked in and staying right where he is. ]
It is your turn to go first tonight, though.
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He's never been terribly skilled at letting silence fall easily, unused to having people around who don't make him feel the need to fill space with chatter. But he was learning with Miki and Hatanaka, and he's still learning now, every time he and Akira merely exist around one another without pattering on and on. It helps him feel more comfortable like this, ensconced in the quiet of his darkened bedroom, nothing more than the sound of their breathing filling the room as he sifts through question after question.
Finally, after some time: ]
If you could see a vision of your future, or maybe even just know something about what's coming for you... would you want to?
[ Weird things happen all the time here, and wishes don't come free, no matter how frivolously he uses his own. He does keep wondering if they'll be offered something like that next. Visions of those big, abstract wishes that brought them here fulfilled, maybe. Or just little details that might make them want to stay here instead of going back home. His gears are always turning. ]
Or would you rather not know what will happen to you and be surprised?
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Then there's the question, which shuts those mental files for now. Asking him of all people about a vision from the future? He can't help but chuckle. ]
Whether it's the smart decision or not, I'd always want to know.
[ He would gaze into the eyes of any forbidden abyss with no hesitation if given the chance. There's a good chance it'll drive him mad one day. (If it hasn't already, judging by some of the more colorful nicknames he's gotten.) ]
Depending on the severity of the outcome, it could be used as a test for if fate really is inevitable. Although, mm...
[ A thoughtful furrow of his brows, ] Aren't there quite a few stories about figures trying to avoid a prophecy they only end up fulfilling? How accurate are those, do you think?
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Besides, the way he phrases things is so... endearing. Of course he'd want to use it to test fate. What a dork...
Haruaki hums and nods, fingers tracing an idle pattern along Akira's shoulder blade. ]
Yep, that's a pretty common trope! What's the saying? You meet your fate on the road you took to avoid it? Something like that.
[ As for how accurate that is to real life, though... who knows, really? That kind of thing would seem too convenient to be true, if someone asked him a year ago, but now that he knows his ancestor has seen how his whole life will unfold... well, Haruaki's not exactly the best judge of whether fate can be defied or not. ]
Maybe... it's not really about fate being inevitable, but about learning to accept what happens to you instead of trying to fight against it. You learn more lessons that way, right?
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I never thought about it like that, but you raise a good point. There's something to be said about being adaptable.
[ His next move comes without much thought. His tone is teasing, but the look on his face oh so very fond, softly bumping their foreheads as if to emphasize his point. ]
You'd know that best out of us, wouldn't you? Life is always throwing such strange things at you!
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[ As much as he'd to soak up some praise, Haruaki's self-image is too honest. ]
I try, but I'm not always great at it either! For a long time I cried and wanted to run away every morning when class began!
[ He's certainly become more resilient and adaptable since then, but there's a reason his first reaction to strange new things is usually to flee like a coward. ]
I guess I could use that lesson too...
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Akira doesn't mind. It's cute. ]
Maybe we could all use that lesson.
[ He could, he'll admit that, even if it probably won't sink in any time soon. He can adapt in a moment, but it's usually to serve a single stubborn purpose. Haruaki is still more flexible than him in that regard.
Once again, though, he wasn't always like that. It takes significance for something to sink in, be it hours upon hours of study or one fateful event.
Clearly lost in thought for a few moments, his eyes softly slide back into the present once more with his forehead deciding to continue resting against the other's. ]
What would you say is the hardest lesson you've had to learn?
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Akira really is the only person with whom he's ever done anything like this. What does that mean, at the end of the day...?
He fidgets with the fabric of Akira's sleep shirt, but he doesn't pull away. Novel and strange as it is, he kind of likes it, cuddling up this close. ]
The hardest? Ooh, that's tricky...
[ There were some difficult subjects he struggled with in university, and his mother has given him some lectures that weren't so easy to hear, and of course the lesson that he won't be able to save every sailor uniform from wear and tear was a hard pill to swallow, but...
Haruaki hums to himself, thoughtful, hand flattening out against Akira's spine once more. It travels up, up, up, until it rests against Akira's nape. ]
You really put me on the spot! Can I think about it for a minute?
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Mhmm, you can think about it all you like. I'm not falling asleep until you tell me.
[ Bold words for someone with sleep slipping so sneakily into his voice. ]
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It's not a lesson that was taught to him by one singular person. It feels like a lesson that slowly built up throughout his life, then exploded onto the scene when he came to Hyakki Academy. It's simple, too. It shouldn't keep hitting him in the face, and yet–
It's happening again in this strange world, too.
Haruaki's voice comes whisper-quiet through the darkened bedroom. ]
No one is alone. Even when it feels like you are, maybe even for years... there are people out there who care about you, and who would be sad if you got hurt, and if you're patient, you'll keep finding more of them.
[ Be reckless in a way that won't worry anyone dovetails nicely into it. It would be so easy for Haruaki to just be reckless if he still was as intensely lonely as he was growing up, or living as a futon ghost at the shrine with his family.
But Principal already knew him. Akira and Yamazaki and Ibara already knew him. Miki and Hatanaka already knew him...
It feels silly now that he was ever so lonesome. He had people waiting for him to reappear in their lives, even if they didn't know it at the time either. ]
It doesn't sound like it would be a hard lesson to learn, huh? It's definitely a nice one! But I guess if you're so used to thinking or feeling a certain way, something like that can take a while to sink in.
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