He's left confusedly groping at the air for a second before he turns that totally-not-mania back in Maruki's direction, self control out the window now that he's already messed up. ]
But--if you're not sure, if you don't know, why wouldn't you want to test that? It would be so simple, so easy! It wouldn't even leave a scar, I promise!
[ It gets him to pause at least, desperately grasping for words this time. He has no problems being honest, but what he wants is to be understood, and after all this time he can't help but hold on to the idea that if he can explain himself well enough that maybe, just maybe, he won't have to fight as much to get things done. ]
I don't want to hurt you, [ He finally manages, ] I just want to know.
[ And right out of that, another idea hits him. ]
Would a local anesthetic help? You wouldn't have to feel it at all, wouldn't even have to look if you don't want to!
I don't think local anesthetic will do anything for this...!
[ Well, to be fair, Maruki doesn't know that. He doesn't know anything, really. This persona business is more or less still a mystery to him.
Still, thoughβ
If he thinks about it for a moment, there's a pang of sympathy somewhere deep in his gut despite himself. After all, Maruki has spent the majority of his career chasing after a field unrecognized in mainstream academia, isolated himself from colleagues and peers, all because of his desire to know. He does get it, in his own way.
That's most of what makes him relent, just a little. Whatever else makes him do it probably isn't worth examining. ]
Look... Can I know what you're trying to find out about it?
I want to know what type of musculature it has if any, I want to know how it connects to the central piece, I want to know what's underneath its cranium, how the nerves are mapped, if there are any special properties to its skin, I want to know if it bleeds and if it shares your blood type--I want to know just how much the two of you share and are alike, at that!
[ His gesturing hands move faster than his mouth as he speaks, as if trying to illustrate what he's talking about will somehow make it clearer. Less frightening. It's not frightening anymore if someone just, knows what the scary unknown is, right...? ]
Listens. To his credit, he does hear out every word Akira says. And none of those questions are ones he can answer. He doesn't even know if they're possible to answer. He could very well work up the nerve to let Akira slice his persona open, only to find that it's impossible, or that nothing exists inside but the calm, warm void of the collective unconscious. ]
I...
[ They won't know until they try, though. ]
Okay.
[ God. ]
Okay, butβ not now. In the future. Once I know you a little better. Is that a fair compromise?
[ Thank everything age and experience has given him a lick of patience to work with, because, ] Of course!
[ He does, however, step forward in what excitement can't be contained, hands clasping together to play with each other as if it'll help calm him down, or perhaps keep them to himself. ]
You learn about me, and I learn about you. That sounds perfectly fair to me.
THAT'S A WRAP ON THIS ONE TOO?? oh the way i will bombard you soon
[ There's another very brief moment when Maruki takes Akira's hands where his smile softens and he just. Looks. Watches the other man as if he's searching for something only he can see, and considering...well, everything, maybe he can.
But it only lasts for that moment, and then his smile is back, wide and warm. ]
no subject
He's left confusedly groping at the air for a second before he turns that totally-not-mania back in Maruki's direction, self control out the window now that he's already messed up. ]
But--if you're not sure, if you don't know, why wouldn't you want to test that? It would be so simple, so easy! It wouldn't even leave a scar, I promise!
no subject
[ He has no idea if this appeal to Akira's better nature will work or not, but it's worth a shot... ]
It's a part of me, Takahashi-san. It is me. You can't bring harm to it without doing the same to me.
no subject
I don't want to hurt you, [ He finally manages, ] I just want to know.
[ And right out of that, another idea hits him. ]
Would a local anesthetic help? You wouldn't have to feel it at all, wouldn't even have to look if you don't want to!
no subject
[ Well, to be fair, Maruki doesn't know that. He doesn't know anything, really. This persona business is more or less still a mystery to him.
Still, thoughβ
If he thinks about it for a moment, there's a pang of sympathy somewhere deep in his gut despite himself. After all, Maruki has spent the majority of his career chasing after a field unrecognized in mainstream academia, isolated himself from colleagues and peers, all because of his desire to know. He does get it, in his own way.
That's most of what makes him relent, just a little. Whatever else makes him do it probably isn't worth examining. ]
Look... Can I know what you're trying to find out about it?
no subject
I want to know what type of musculature it has if any, I want to know how it connects to the central piece, I want to know what's underneath its cranium, how the nerves are mapped, if there are any special properties to its skin, I want to know if it bleeds and if it shares your blood type--I want to know just how much the two of you share and are alike, at that!
[ His gesturing hands move faster than his mouth as he speaks, as if trying to illustrate what he's talking about will somehow make it clearer. Less frightening. It's not frightening anymore if someone just, knows what the scary unknown is, right...? ]
no subject
Listens. To his credit, he does hear out every word Akira says. And none of those questions are ones he can answer. He doesn't even know if they're possible to answer. He could very well work up the nerve to let Akira slice his persona open, only to find that it's impossible, or that nothing exists inside but the calm, warm void of the collective unconscious. ]
I...
[ They won't know until they try, though. ]
Okay.
[ God. ]
Okay, butβ not now. In the future. Once I know you a little better. Is that a fair compromise?
no subject
[ He does, however, step forward in what excitement can't be contained, hands clasping together to play with each other as if it'll help calm him down, or perhaps keep them to himself. ]
You learn about me, and I learn about you. That sounds perfectly fair to me.
THAT'S A WRAP ON THIS ONE TOO?? oh the way i will bombard you soon
[ For a moment he thinks to reach out to shake, but he sees Akira worrying his hands together like that, all pent-up energy with nowhere to goβ
And instead he reaches out to clasp both of his hands gently around the other man's. ]
I'm sure I won't regret it.
[ lmao. ]
wrap wrap kiss kiss β€
But it only lasts for that moment, and then his smile is back, wide and warm. ]
You won't, I'm sure of it!